Brahmavadini

 Brahmavadini

Jesus said :This is my commandment, that ye love one another

                                                                                                                         ( John 15:12)

(My thanks are  due to my friend  Dr. Soma Sammadar, Professor  of Chemistry, Lady Brabourne College,  Kolkata for providing valuable insights while writing this article. Soma herself a cancer survivor is relentlessly working for stray dogs through her NGO Doddaden foundation. She vaccinates, sterilizes and feeds about 100  stray dogs , furry babies as she calls them  ,  in North Kolkata.) 

A Brahmavadini  was a  female Vedic scholar, philosopher in ancient India who  by choice did not marry and dedicated her life to the pursuit of the ultimate knowledge. Brahmavadinis were highly educated intellectual ascetics who  by choice dedicated themselves to study Vedas, composed hymns, and lived independently.These female sages in ancient times demanded equal rights and positioning. Equal standing in Social structure or education. They demanded to be educated with male disciples.  The women who existed in India  centuries ago ,  the same leaders are amongst us and with us in a modern, urban way. It is not only in ancient  India  when Brahmavadinis like  Gargi and Maitri exited. They have been an integral part of our society always  - we may  have any name for them – but they are   independent women. They are modern day Brahmavadini.They can be anywhere, and we never realize. It’s their thoughts, their minds that define them.They are single by choice not by force, they are affectionate , caring  and fiercely  independent women with her strength and struggles. 

For the independent woman, the struggle to be loved is not a flaw in her heart, but a quiet melodious song of survival. It is the delicate  collision between the architecture of survival  build by her and the necessity of intimacy. When independence is born of necessity, it ceases to be merely a trait; it becomes an existential fortress. Her self-reliance is a  sanctuary where she is both the architect and the guard. In this space, her mind stays watchful, and the thought of being loved feels less like a soft landing and more like a tremor in the ground she worked so hard to stability.

Giving love is an externalization of self. It is safe, predictable, and firmly within the domain of control. Receiving, however, is a surrender of that control. It necessitates a radical vulnerability, requiring one to become an object of care rather than an agent of utility. For a woman who has learned that reliance is synonymous with risk, allowing another to "step in" feels less like an invitation and more like an exposure of a breach in the walls she has meticulously erected.

For the independent woman, self-reliance is a silver shield, forged in the fires of past disappointment to keep her heart from the winter of absence. She builds a life so complete and quiet that the storm of another’s inconsistency cannot reach her. Yet, this armor is heavy; while it keeps the cold away, it also blocks the gentle sunlight of a true presence. Her struggle is not that her heart is small, but that it has learned to be careful.

The transition from survival to intimacy requires a fundamental shift in perspective. It demands the recognition that the strength forged in solitude is not a permanent requirement for existence, but a foundation upon which to build a different kind of life. When an independent woman eventually lowers her guard, she does so not out of a void of need, but from a position of wholeness.

This creates a rare form of connection: a love that is not parasitic or transactional, but elective. It is the realization that while she has the capacity to sustain herself, she also has the agency to choose the shared warmth of another. When love is untethered from the desperation of need, it becomes a profound, intentional, and enduring partnership.

-Pankaj Mala Bhattacharya